Food Acknowleder Association (the other F.A.A.)

What you got today, Stan? Tuna?

Picture the scene. You're pulling an 8 hour shift sitting in an indoor pool, inhaling the chlorine and bromine fumes, with whiny complaints from oddballs about the hot tub temperature or the steam room's amount of steam bouncing off you like bullets off of Superman. Slowly, you're becoming more annoyed as each minute of your day goes by and you're getting hungry. There were no real discernible lunch breaks at this job. Occasionally another staff member would watch the pool while we were able to run across the street to grab some food, but picking it up was all the break that we got. So we had to eat our meals at our lifeguard desk, while watching the pool, or reading a magazine (safety first!).

We came to discover that in this atmosphere, people seem to always want to acknowledge your food. I can't explain it, and I don't condone it, but it will happen. Like death and taxes. Maybe they think it's folksy small talk, a relatable topic between two people. But to us, it was just annoying.

We were never able to finish our meal without someone walking past and interrupting it with an annoying comment about the food. Whether or not they thought they were just being folksy or not is beside the point. These people were members of an association that Phil and I deemed the F.A.A.-The Food Acknowledger Association.

People love to say something about what you're eating, especially at this job; it was almost like a requirement that we could not go through an entire meal without at least one comment.

Some of the comments included:

"Taste good?"
"Are you feeding the rabbits?" (if you had food that looked healthy)
"Come on man we're in a gym you can't be eatin' that!"(if you had food that looked unhealthy)
"Bring enough for me?"

One gentleman seemed to almost examine and keep track of every meal I ate.

"Ahh I see you got the sub today, last time you had the salad, this time you got the sub!"

We were always mid bite too. And we inevitably had to stop eating to acknowledge their acknowledgement.

In case you're wondering, no one had an interest in letting us eat our meal in peace. Even our so-called heroes (people we liked) were part of the Food Acknowledger Association, so we sort of had to be polite and respond somehow.

I've come to learn now, several years removed from the lifeguard business, that this group is not limited to pool jobs. F.A.A. members are everywhere. You probably know one at your job right now, sitting and waiting to stand over you and breathe a pointless comment about your meal of choice for the day.

"Looks yummy! Whatcha' got?"

D